What is sex therapy for?

The most common problems are rooted on an unconscious level, and we would probably never think about how trivial events can reshape our intimacy for a lifetime. A kind of sexual behavior starts to develop even in childhood, which we carry forward throughout our lives. Often, it’s just a small bad habit that leads us astray. These are hard to detect, especially when they accompany our sexual life for years or decades.

Besides bad habits, there is also the issue that there is still little open communication about sexuality these days. As a result, it is common that we do not get to know our bodies well enough, and we lack proper knowledge about human sexual functioning. Due to external stimuli (social media, porn, etc.), we often set unrealistic expectations about how we should look and how we should live our sexual lives, which can damage our self-image, body image, and self-confidence.

In such cases, the sex psychologist has two very important tasks. Firstly, the goal is to provide sexual education that aims to bring the client back to the reality, who are often surprised to learn that there is nothing "wrong," it's just that the image formed in their head doesn't match the basic pillars of real human functioning. Secondly, the psychologist invites the client on a journey of self-discovery, during which they explore essential questions such as expectations of oneself and the significant other, self-confidence, and communication. To be able to enjoy a fulfilling sexual life, it is crucial to be aware of ourselves both mentally and physically.

Of course, there are cases when sexual dysfunctions can actually be detected in the bedroom (orgasm disorder, erectile dysfunction, lack of desire, vaginismus, etc.). In such cases, the first step is always to start with a medical opinion to rule out the presence of an organic problem. The sex psychologist plays an active role once this assumption is proven.

Whether we wish to take the paths discussed above alone or with our partner depends on the individual and the situation. We usually shed light on problematic areas through individual work, but there are situations when I find it particularly useful to involve the partner as well, to see how they experience certain circumstances. It can provide a lot of information for both if they have the space and opportunity to open up on topics through guided questions, which might not have been discussed in a home setting.