Vaginismus: Does sex cause you pain?

Vaginismus is the tense state of the muscles of the pelvic floor and the vagina. In this case, the vagina is not able or finds it difficult to accommodate the penis or other objects, which can severely impede medical examinations and tampon use, while also posing a serious obstacle to experiencing joyful sexuality.

According to a study from 2001, the occurrence of sexual dysfunctions is very high in the average population, over 46%, with a portion of these being related to various painful intercourse experiences affecting women. The occurrence of vaginismus is estimated to be between 1-6%, although the number of women seeking help from a sex psychologist specifically for this problem is showing an increasing trend.

What are the characteristics?

1. Muscle tension – may affect only the vaginal sphincter, but can extend to the pelvic floor muscles, the back, the jaw, or even the whole body

2. Fear of pain – this can specifically relate to touching intimate areas, intercourse, sexuality in general, or pain in general

3. Makes the affected person prone to either approach or avoid certain behaviors

In certain cases, gynecological, medical, biological reasons can also be present in the background (e.g., vaginal inflammation, a rigid hymen, injury, congenital disorder, endometriosis), but in these cases, accompanying mental issues such as anxiety, fear of pain, and stress are also encountered.

In most cases, however, the background of vaginismus includes psychological (mental) causes:

• FEAR: painful intercourse, injury, becoming pregnant, physical harm, recurrence of diseases, loss of control

• ANXIETY: stemming from inexperience, performance pressure, desire to conform, resulting from previous unpleasant experiences

• GUILT: excessive parental strictness, childhood shame, sex-negative upbringing, religious upbringing

• TRAUMA: sexual assault, inappropriate circumstances losing virginity, emotional harm suffered in previous sexual relationships

• RELATIONSHIP ISSUES: emotional distance, difficulty with commitment, attachment problems, fear of disappointment, lack of trust, poor communication

 It’s important to know that vaginismus is always surmountable, specifically with multidisciplinary treatment that involves several areas of expertise, in a combined manner.

1.  Visit your gynecologist and have your physiological background checked. If everything is fine, head to a good sex psychologist; if any physiological issues are found, start on the path to treatment.

2. Consult a sex psychologist who will provide you with appropriate sexual education. It’s important to be aware of how sexuality works, the connection between your body and mind, and how you can influence your body. Cognitive behavioral therapy, as a psychological methodology, has excellent tools for treating vaginismus.

3. Consider that you might also need the help of a physiotherapist to improve your situation. Mastering certain exercises, like proper training of the vaginal muscles and various pelvic floor relaxing exercises can be essential for treatment. 

If you recognized yourself in this problematic area, seek help as soon as possible! Every single day is important in your life, never forget that! 😌

Source: Sex Psychology. Hevesi, Rigó, Urbán. Budapest, 2020.