Recommendation: is it really the hottest method?

It's quite challenging for someone who wants to choose a psychologist competent enough to solve their problem. Many try to play it safe and find the right expert through personal recommendations. Indeed, in many sectors today, the recommendation system is significantly present (“Do you know a good gastroenterologist?” “Hey, where did you get your braces done?” “I need a good hairdresser, who do you go to?”), and selecting a psychologist can be an absolute success story in this way. However, there are two things to definitely consider when asking friends, relatives, or acquaintances for contacts.

 One thing is that the person giving the recommendation is a completely different personality, with different problems, in a different life situation, so the “therapeutic chemistry” created between them and the professional pertains to that specific situation and interpersonal (between people) relationship. It's not at all certain that this trusting atmosphere would also develop between you and the same specialist, and that's perfectly fine. The key point is if your acquaintance was very satisfied with that psychologist but you don't feel comfortable, always listen to yourself, and don’t persuade yourself that it must be good for you too, you're just perceiving something wrong.

The other thing is to consider how you would feel sharing your innermost thoughts, fears, emotions with someone who, perhaps for years, has been the confidant of your friend, sibling, partner, and they too can return to them whenever their life situation requires. It’s not okay for psychologists to start working with a client they already have information about, as this can influence the advice process. This is called a dual relationship. It can be burdensome for all parties involved in such a situation, so always weigh the level of your relationship with the recommender and discuss this openly with your psychologist at the first meeting.

 Should it be nearby, affordable, or should they understand me?

But if we don't ask anyone for specific contacts, how do we decide? Many choose a professional based on practical considerations, such as location – proximity to work, home, school, university can be important, as well as a fee that is more favorable to our wallet. Understandable, yet it doesn’t hurt if we can gather other arguments for a given professional, like qualifications, professional dedication, areas of professional interest, basic human rapport. Different methodologies, professional criteria can offer important insight into how well a given professional’s competence matches our problem. If we find detailed descriptions of the selected professional’s work methods, feel free to look them up and see if there’s a fit between the applied fields and our issue.

 Good to know

Choosing a psychologist based on age or gender can be misleading. Did you know that different heuristics continuously influence our decisions? One such heuristic is that older people are wiser and more competent, people who wear glasses are smarter and more intelligent, blond women are dumber and so on. These heuristics are useful in many cases, as they help us make decisions faster, but when choosing a psychologist, it's better to focus on being deliberate over speed.

Assume an older psychologist has been in the field for many years. As a result, they’ve probably dealt with far more cases than a younger colleague.  What does this mean for us? It might mean that they understand our problem better, as presumably, they have experience in it, but it might also mean they’ve encountered so many such cases that they have absolutely no interest in hearing “the same thing” again; it's possible they’re burned out and not motivated.

In another scenario, we might think a psychologist of similar age surely is quite knowledgeable in their field, because they've been in it for a long time, but it’s also possible they have worked in a completely different area until recently, and only dusted off their diploma lately and started working with clients, thus they can be just as much of a novice as someone who graduated last year.

Younger colleagues might give us the impression of being inexperienced, but it’s possible that precisely because of this they are very diligent, motivated, and curious, striving to proceed carefully and have a successful outcome, leaving the client satisfied. An important aspect related to age can be considering generational differences. In certain cases, clients feel it's crucial to them to turn to a professional similar in age and life experience, and it’s conceivable that for specific problems this really can be significant.

It’s not uncommon to look for those points where we can relate humanly and in life experience to the chosen professional – among such cases, mothers search for female psychologists who also have children. We might insist on only pouring our heart out to a psychologist of the opposite or same gender, although it would be hard to scientifically prove that that criterion was precisely what made the counseling process successful/unsuccessful.

The list of considerations can essentially be endless. What is absolutely certain, however, is you can never make a second first impression. If, at first glance, you find a professional sympathetic, feel that you could trust them, then you examine the psychological methodologies from their professional resume and find matches with your problem, and you can even schedule an appointment, you’re starting off with good odds. Don’t have explicit expectations, and let the professional lead you into the counseling process in their own way.