What is sex therapy for?

The most common problems are rooted in the unconscious, and we would probably never think that such small, everyday events can shape our intimacy for a lifetime. From childhood, a kind of sexual pattern begins to develop, which we carry with us throughout our lives. Often, just one small bad habit can lead us off track. These are hard to spot, especially when they stay with our sex life for years or even decades.

Besides bad habits, there is also the issue that even today there is still very little open communication about sexuality. Because of this it is common that we do not get to know our bodies well enough, and we do not have proper knowledge about human sexual functioning. External influences, such as social media and porn, often create unrealistic expectations about how we should look and how we should have sex, and this can harm our self-image, body image, and confidence.

In these cases, the sex psychologist has two very important tasks. On the one hand, the goal is to provide sexual education, which helps bring the client back down to reality. Many are surprised to learn that there is actually nothing "wrong"; it is only the image formed in their mind that does not match the basic facts of real human functioning. On the other hand, the psychologist invites the client on a journey of self-knowledge, during which they explore essential questions such as expectations toward ourselves and our significant other, confidence, and communication. To be able to experience a satisfying sex life, it is extremely important to know ourselves well, both mentally and physically.

Of course, there are also cases when sexual dysfunctions can really be identified in the bedroom, such as orgasm disorder, erectile dysfunction, lack of desire, vaginismus, and so on. In these cases, the first step is always a medical opinion, so that any organic problem can be ruled out. The sex psychologist takes an active role when this assumption is confirmed.

Whether we want to go through the paths described above alone or together with our partner depends on the individual and the situation. In general, we uncover the problematic areas through individual work, but there are situations when I find it especially useful to involve the partner too, so we can see how they experience certain circumstances and situations. It can give both of them a lot of useful insight if, with the help of supportive questions, they also have space and a chance to open up about topics that may not come up at home.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know whether my sexual problem is psychological, or there is actually some kind of physical condition behind it?

As a first step, a urological or gynecological examination is definitely recommended, and if the medical results do not show any physical difference, then it is worth starting sex therapy.

Is it awkward to go to a sex therapist alone if my partner does not want to come with me to the counseling session?

Not at all. In fact, the changes you achieve through individual self-knowledge work often start a positive chain reaction in your relationship and in your shared sex life too.

Does talking really help even when I have physical symptoms such as erectile dysfunction or pain?

Yes, because anxiety and performance pressure can block the body's natural reactions, and the psychologist helps release the mental barriers that keep the physical symptoms going.

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