Beatrix György-Tóth

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who just couldn't handle failure."

I think my story would start something like that. I grew up as a very stubborn, hot-headed child, which was tough for my family to manage. Maybe that's partly why it was so hard for me to deal with failure in anything. However, as the years passed, this became a bigger and bigger problem.

It's no surprise that as time went by, a lack of self-confidence, self-esteem issues, and as a teenager, body image issues and eating disorders, joined my journey.

I had to face many demons early in my life, but the first really big blow came when I started my first semester at university. I thought as a young adult, I would easily manage to support myself alongside my studies. I had no other choice; it seemed like a clear path. Everything fell apart around me, and I started questioning my entire life. I had no idea where I was heading, what I wanted, or even who I was. Finally, though it was a rocky road, this led me to the step where, despite what others thought, I applied to the psychology program, and got accepted.

On the day of enrollment, I was overcome by an indescribable feeling; I knew I was in the right place. And so it was. After enrolling, everything started to come together again, and I dug deeper into self-discovery. I found a job where they supported my studies, and a colleague continuously motivated and strengthened me. Today, I know how much I owe to all of this.

I met my husband in the same place, someone who had also gone through many self-discovery experiences on his own, and together we continued this journey. Since then, he has been one of the clearest mirrors in my life, confronting me with my mistakes, if need be, but also picking me up off the ground when necessary. I owe thanks to him for my son, who also shows me what I still need to develop and change in. It's been intense years filled with a self-discovery path that was often hard, painful, and full of tears. But it was just as often wonderful and uplifting. Yet, becoming a mother brought me one of the strongest self-awareness experiences.

The little girl who couldn't bear failure had to learn that as a parent, it's even more important how to react to difficulties.

My child motivates me to be the best version of myself, to be kind, understanding, and loving towards myself, because I want him to care for himself as well in this way. Meanwhile, I continually face the challenges that come with motherhood, and it's often hard for me to cope with exhaustion, the constant state of readiness, the changed body image after birth.

In my free time, I love to go for walks, hike, and sing freely. These activities release my energy and make me happier. Also, since childhood, I have loved trying out all sorts of creative hobbies. While the former activities release energy, the latter help organize my feelings and thoughts. In recent years, crocheting has taken the biggest stage, which is wonderful to me because, from nothing, something becomes, stitch by stitch. It's exactly like my own journey.