Natasa Pósfai

As an outsider, almost anyone who knew me when I was younger thought my life was enviable, and they often pointed it out to me.

However, no one could see how the top student, successful athlete, always smiling girl actually carried many wounds from her past with her, and for this reason hid behind a series of invisible masks, afraid that someone would see her true self.

The more tears I shed at home within the four walls, the more brightly I smiled in front of others. The smaller and more worthless I felt, the more success I tried to accumulate. And the more anxious I became, the more I chased different impulses and challenges. This was a coping strategy that was unsustainable in the long run.

My own path of self-discovery held many painful realizations, but these helped me gradually understand and tame my past, lay down my masks, and start living the life I had always wanted.

I owe it to my parents' divorce that I experienced the impact a good psychologist can have on people's lives as early as the age of 7, and this experience greatly contributed to the development of my later interests and my career choice. During the 15 years of our relationship, my husband gave me insight into the patterns I brought from home, and that a marriage is a daily investment, where time, energy, and love are our capital with which we can create value. Our divorce helped me experience the hidden resources we can cling to when we feel the world is collapsing around us, how to carry through grief, closure, and letting go, and how to start anew after all that.

Currently, my greatest teacher is my little son. For him, I've learned to slow down time again, to live those tiny moments that are defining for him.

For him, I've become aware again of self-love to pass on the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. Lastly, thanks to our shared moments, I've learned to reconnect not just with him, but with my own inner child, filling in experiences I couldn't live through in my childhood.

In my free time, the greatest relaxation and recharge come from sports, especially running and horseback riding. The former is a well-proven way for me to relieve stress, and almost without exception, my best ideas and solutions to problems have come to me while running. While horseback riding helps me much more in deep reflection and quieting my mind, and there's no experience like retreating to the slopes of the Bakony for a few hours and connecting with the primal power of nature.