Setting Objectives and Expectations

The most important step at the beginning of the consulting process is to define the goals together. These goals can be more specific, like reducing anxiety, or broader, like improving self-esteem, but often we find that someone generally doesn’t feel well. In these cases, it’s essential to map out the whole life situation, emotional world, and social network of the person to guide the needs and the process.

Goals must be realistic and achievable, considering the client's current situation and resources. It's important to note that goals can change over time as the client develops and understands their own issues and feelings more deeply. New problems and emotional focal points may emerge, and it might happen that the psychologist with whom the original goal was set cannot help with these. This is completely natural and normal; it's not expected for clients to be able to precisely articulate and assess what we are dealing with at the start of any process. If everyone had a clear insight into their deeply buried, sometimes repressed and painful problems, dynamics, we psychologists wouldn't be needed so much. ☺️ And of course, it’s not expected from psychologists to help with everything, as they also specialize in certain areas or problem sets, just like doctors or engineers.

Clients often expect quick solutions; however, consulting can be a longer process. Many carry negative emotional states, anxieties, and obstacles within them for many years or even decades; how could it be realistic to expect a complete solution or relief in a few 50-minute meetings? Therefore, it's crucial to refine expectations, making the client understand that change is often not linear, and facing challenges is a time-consuming process. The result is often not a clear point but a gradual improvement and internal change.

It’s essential to mention on the path of realistic expectations that clients often come to psychological counseling with unrealistic, unachievable goals. For example, it’s not realistic to expect someone to switch from an introverted personality to an extroverted one. However, it is realistic to explore why being introverted bothers you, what exactly bothers you, and what you desire from extroversion, and how you can incorporate those skills and abilities into your current life and functioning. It’s also not a realistic expectation for someone to forget the mental, emotional, or even physical abuse experienced over years as a child, but it is realistic to emotionally distance oneself from these experiences and develop a strong adult personality who is no longer defined by these feelings in daily life, who recognizes when the abused child speaks from within, and who is able to protect themselves and regain trust in others.

What Can Be Considered a Result?

Measuring results in the counseling process isn’t simple because changes occur within us, in invisible ways. One sign of effectiveness might be when the client increasingly understands their own emotions and is able to handle them in a more constructive way. This improvement in emotional awareness and coping strategies can have a long-term positive impact on the client’s life. In cases of more specific problems, we are in a different situation of course, like with panic disorders, phobias, or compulsions, where we can see change more concretely based on assessments and the symptoms experienced in daily life, even week by week.

On the path to results, the client gradually becomes better at using the skills acquired during counseling in everyday life. This can mean better communication skills, more effective stress management, or improvement in the quality of relationships. Therefore, the result is not necessarily a "final solution," but the client’s ability to adapt flexibly to the various challenges of life.

When Does the Result Appear?

The timing of the result varies and depends on the nature of the client’s problem and the pace of individual development. In some cases, changes appear in relatively defined time windows, for example, if the client is seeking solutions for specific situations or has a problem that can be addressed with a specific methodology, timeline - like the aforementioned panic disorder. Other times, the process may take longer, especially when deeper emotional or personality transformations are involved. It's important to recognize that counseling is not built on quick fixes but on lasting changes that develop gradually. According to the psychoanalytic approach, for instance, it takes roughly a year with weekly sessions just to lay down the basics of the therapeutic process, and to develop a relationship between the client and psychologist that provides the right environment for further development.

Therefore, the success of psychological counseling varies individually and is not always easily measurable. The most important thing during the process is that the client better understands themselves, learns to manage their feelings and challenges, and can apply the skills developed during counseling in the long term. The result is not always the achievement of specific goals but the enrichment of the client’s inner world and an increase in their resilience. Setting objectives and creating realistic expectations fundamentally contribute to success and satisfaction during the process.

The most important thing is not to have time pressure on you, trust the expert. The process will be more successful the more calmly you can participate in it.