Setting goals and expectations

At the beginning of your journey, the most important step is to set your goals together with your psychologist. These goals can be very specific, like reducing anxiety, or broader, like improving self-esteem. But it's also very common to just feel generally unwell. In cases like this, we need to map out your whole life situation, your emotional world, and your social circle, so we can guide your needs and the process in the right direction.

Goals should always be realistic and achievable, keeping your current situation and resources in mind. It's good to know that your goals can change over time as you grow and start to understand your problems and feelings on a deeper level. New challenges and emotional sore spots might surface, and it is possible that the psychologist you set your original goals with won't be able to help with these new areas. This is completely natural and normal! We can't expect you to know and name exactly what you are facing right at the start. If everyone had a clear view of their deeply rooted, sometimes painful and hidden feelings, you wouldn't really need us psychologist at all, right? ☺️ And of course, psychologists can't help with everything either—just like doctors or engineers, we specialize in certain areas and types of problems.

We often wish for quick solutions, but counseling can be a longer process. If you have been carrying negative emotions, anxiety, or mental blocks for years or even decades, it is not realistic to expect a complete solution or relief in just a few 50-minute sessions. That's why it is so important to shape realistic expectations. Change is rarely a straight line, and facing challenges takes time. The result is often not a single, clear moment of success, but a gradual improvement and inner change.

Speaking of realistic expectations, it's essential to mention that clients often arrive at counseling with goals that are not actually realistic or solvable. For example, changing from an introvert to an extrovert is not a realistic goal. However, exploring why being an introvert bothers you, what exactly troubles you about it, what you admire about extroversion, and how we can help you learn and build those skills into your daily life—that is a wonderful, realistic goal! Likewise, forgetting years of mental, emotional, or physical abuse from childhood is not realistic. But learning to emotionally distance yourself from those memories, building a strong adult self who is no longer defined by these feelings, recognizing when that hurt child is speaking, and learning to protect yourself and trust others again—this is absolutely achievable.

What counts as success?

Measuring success in counseling isn't easy, because the most important changes happen deep inside, invisibly. One of the best signs of progress is when you start to understand your feelings better and can handle them in a more constructive way. This emotional awareness and healthy coping strategies will have a wonderful, long-term positive effect on your life. Of course, with more specific issues, things are a bit different: with panic disorders, phobias, or OCD, we can see clear, week-to-week progress through both tests and everyday symptom changes.

On this journey, you will gradually learn to use the skills you gain in counseling in your daily life. This could mean better communication, simpler stress management, or warmer, healthier relationships. So, the result isn't necessarily a "final fix," but rather your new ability to adapt flexibly to life's many challenges.

When will I see results?

Timing is different for everyone. It depends on the nature of your worry and your personal pace of growth. Sometimes, changes happen in quite predictable timeframes—for example, if you are looking for solutions to specific situations or if your issue has a clear, structured treatment plan, like the panic disorder we mentioned before. In other cases, the process takes longer, especially when we are working on deeper emotional or personality changes. It is helpful to remember that counseling is not about quick fixes, but about building long-lasting changes that grow step-by-step. For instance, in the psychoanalytic approach, it takes about a year of weekly sessions just to lay down the basics and build a warm, trusting bond between you and your psychologist, creating the perfect foundation for your future growth.

The success of counseling is unique to everyone and not always easy to measure. The most important thing is that along the way, you understand yourself better, learn to guide your emotions and challenges, and can use these newly found skills for a lifetime. Success is not always about reaching a specific milestone, but about enriching your inner world and becoming more resilient. Setting your goals and having realistic expectations are key to a fulfilling and successful process.

The most important thing: try not to put yourself under time pressure, just trust your specialist. The more relaxed you feel during the process, the more successful it will be.

Frequently asked questions

Will the psychologist change my personality?

No, not at all! The goal of counseling is never to replace your personality. It is simply to help you live more comfortably and confidently with the unique qualities you already have.

Am I allowed to change my goals during therapy?

Of course! Your goals are flexible and can be rewritten at any time as new and deeper connections come to light during our chats.

Why can't every psychologist help with every type of problem?

Just like doctors, psychologists specialize in different areas. To make sure you get the best possible care, we might recommend a colleague who is an expert in your specific need. Just like you wouldn't visit an ear, nose, and throat doctor for a broken bone, you deserve the right specialist for your mind, too.

Why do I sometimes feel worse during therapy than before?

Growth is not a straight line. Bringing old, painful memories or habits to the surface is often just the step before real, lasting healing begins.