It is completely natural that we want to please our partner, boss, parents, or other important people in our lives. Because of this, clients often arrive for private consultations with the motto: "My friends/ex/partner told me to come, but I don't really know how this could help me." Until you find your own reason to be receptive, open, and curious about this journey, it is not quite the right time to look for a psychologist. It is not the specialist's job to convince you that psychology is an effective field with great tools that work.

Of course, this is a two-sided relationship, so both you and your psychologist need to do your part to achieve success together. The magic lies in four things: the inner motivation we mentioned, clear goals, the connection between you and your psychologist, and their expertise. Think about it for a moment: which one do you think matters most? Interestingly, the most important part is the good connection between you, which is why it is so crucial to only work with a specialist who makes you feel safe and with whom you can share things in a trusting atmosphere. This can only happen if you have your own personal motivation. Setting clear goals is super important so that over time you can look back, see where you started, where you are now, appreciate the progress, and see if things have shifted for you. The psychologist's expertise is also key so that you end up with a professional whose methods and framework truly match your needs.

It is essential not to arrive at the consultation with a self-diagnosis and a rigid treatment plan. Just let your psychologist do their job and try to be open to the different tools they introduce to you. Try not to put time or financial pressure on yourself. It takes a lot of energy away from your growth if, instead of listening to yourself calmly and patiently, you worry about how much it costs and when everything will be solved in an instant. Just think about how long you have been carrying certain things inside you, sometimes for years or even decades. Your psychologist has just 50 minutes every week or two—including arriving, leaving, and booking the next appointment—to catch up, get to know you, understand the nature of your problem, and start guiding you toward a solution.

So, only start the consultation process if your circumstances allow for this honest journey into your inner world.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if I would only go to a psychologist at the request of my family or partner?

Only dive in if you feel the inner drive yourself, because you cannot achieve real and lasting growth from external pressure.

After how many therapy sessions can I expect to feel a change in my mental state?

This varies for everyone, but usually after 4 to 6 sessions you can already notice a sense of relief or a bit of clarity in your thoughts.

What should I do if I don't feel a connection or chemistry with the psychologist?

Trust and a sense of safety are key to your progress, so it is important to let us know if you do not feel the chemistry, and we will help you find another competent specialist.

Can I tell the psychologist things that I can barely admit to myself?

Yes, absolutely! In fact, honest opening up and sharing your deepest secrets is what drives your change process forward most effectively.